Sunday, December 26, 2010

Happy Feast Day Holy Family – Jesus, Mary & Joseph

Happy Feast Day Holy Family – Jesus, Mary & Joseph

Today is the feast day of the Holy Family – Jesus, Mary & Joseph. I wish to express my love and gratitude to them in the best way I know how. They are a source of inspiration and strength. I gaze at their loving faces and I long to be just like them – humble, patient and pure and wholly obedient to the Father’s will. They are my guide and I hope they will be yours too. I firmly believe that Love is alive in our hearts. We just need gentle reminders that God’s love is perfect and infinite. He loves us unconditionally. He doesn’t look at our mistakes; He sees the goodness in us because we are His creation. He loves us.

I can only imagine the courage and strength it must have taken Jesus, Mary & Joseph to overcome all their hardships right from the beginning. Jesus, the King of Kings, was threatened even before He was born. St. Joseph & the Blessed Virgin Mary had to flee in a life and death situation even while she was in labor. Glorious was the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Kings and Angels and Shepherds came to bear witness. Yet they had to keep running and hiding until Herod died. Even then they couldn’t go back to their home. But then I guess that was the Father’s will too. This will always be a mystery to me and I would never want to unravel this because when I meet our Creator, I am hoping that I may be able to ask Him one day about this.

Home, Love, Family – isn’t that the most basic human desire? For me it is. Food, clothing and shelter are needs. But there is a difference between having a roof above your head and having a home to call your own. They say home is where love is and our family is the most basic foundation of love. Our parents are the first people we “see” and know even before we understand what love is. So I can only imagine the kind of love that the Holy Family shared.

Our home is filled with images of the Holy Family and I am grateful to have been born in our humble home and living now in our still humble home, leaking roof and all. Some of our family members may have passed away but our happy memories will always remain in my heart. The love my grandparents shared with their children and with us, their grandchildren. The love my mama and papa shared even though they did not spend most of their lives together. Now I understand that true love does not count what is lost, true love makes people cherish the time they spent together – joys, sorrows and all. And all throughout my life, I will always look back with gratitude and happiness because God is always with us. He has never left us, not one single moment has passed by the He wasn’t there. And I am amazed at His love.

I have to say this too, I am amazed at Mama Mary’s loving guidance. Now I understand why we pray “Hail Mary full of grace...” She really is full of grace, that’s why whenever we pray the rosary we say out loud that Mama Mary was conceived without original sin. A priest said during his homily that this is why Mama Mary never sinned – God did not allow that to happen. He filled her with Grace so that sin would never taint her. And when she said “Be it done to me according to Your Word” that changed all of our lives forever. So we are also blessed because of her obedience. And St. Joseph, her husband was also humble, obedient and kind.

I now realize that it is not how big our house is – it is our family and love that makes our home just that – a home. Now I understand that sometimes we search in vain for the wrong things and the wrong people. Not knowing that the ones we’ve been searching for have been right here all along. I can honestly say that I have been blessed with such loving family who did nothing but protect me from the harsh realities of life and gave me nothing but love. And that is just the beginning. Yes, there is nothing certain about life but this much I know – we are always welcome in our Father’s kingdom and our family will always love us – flaws and all.

The Holy Family is a source of strength for me, not because they are perfect examples of love, faith, hope, obedience and strength, but because the Son of God, Jesus Christ, came down to be with us mere humans as a Son of Man. He was a King but he chose to serve – our Servant King. Jesus lives up to his Holy name – Emmanuel – God with us. So now, when I turn my head and look at their loving image, I see so much love and I feel so inspired because they are so humble yet so strong... loving, faithful and true. They make me want to serve too and learn how to love unconditionally.

And so as I’m writing this, I am in awe of our God Jesus Christ, He not only created us, He obeyed the Father’s will and came down to earth, taught us how to live a Holy life and prepare for our Heavenly destination, then suffered and died on the cross to save us. Sometimes I forget the best part His Resurrection – when He conquered death, restored our life and gave us the greatest gift of all – everlasting life. His promise that He will never leave us and that one day, He will come back to judge the living and the dead. I used to be scared of that but now I’m not. Because deep in my heart I know that God does not count our trespasses, He wants all of us to be saved, to be with Him in all His Glory.

There may be times when we feel unworthy but it is during those times when God is hard at work, gently guiding us, teaching us to love and forgive ourselves and humble ourselves before Him and others. I guess the lesson I learned this year has been a daily one. I may forget to reflect sometimes in the daily hustle and bustle of my daily life but this much I know, I will never take love for granted again because that’s the best lesson I learned -- LOVE.

My love may be imperfect but God loves me anyway and that’s enough for me. It gives me a reason to get up in the morning, excited to start my day and go to sleep at night, less lonely and less scared as each day passes by. And I have learned the best way to relax is to trust in Jesus, because He is my all – my God, my Messiah, my Lord, my King, my Boss, my Savior, my hiding place, my sanctuary but most of all, He is my Father, my Brother, my Teacher and my Friend – the best Guide I could ever ask for. Light of the world. Word of God. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life – this is a WOW moment! And now I know why I keep hearing this as my spirit song “It’s all about You Jesus, it’s not about me, as if You should do things my way, You alone are God and I surrender to Your ways.”

And as we journey on in this wonderful thing we call life, I would like to share the lyrics to my favourite song right now – “Go and Sin No More.” I especially love the last part because it expresses everything I could never say out loud, because He knows! He really knows!

So now I’m counting my blessings. I may never fully understand the concept of total surrender of how to let go and let God, but this much I know, Jesus loves me and I’m passing it on – one person at a time. Thank you Jesus! J

Go and Sin No More [Extra]

You search me
You know me
You see my every move

There's nothing I could ever do
To hide myself from You
You know my thoughts, my fears and hurts
My weaknesses and my pride

You know what I am going trough
and how I feel inside

But even though You know
You will always love me
Even though You know
You'll never let me go

I don't deserve Your love
But You gave me feeling

(You will always love me even though You know...) 2x

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Greatest Gift from God

Jesus is the greatest gift that God has given the world. We cannot ask for anything greater than the gift of the Son of God as our redeemer.

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Heavenly Father.” (Matthew 5:16)

Make me a servant humble and meek; Lord, let me lift up those who are weak…

The Savior is born! Do you do your part as a Christian in spreading the Good News of His coming? How do you lead others to salvation?

Happy birthday, Jesus. My Lord and my Savior! Teach me to share You with my neighbors.

There is no greater or more important news that we could bring anyone than the offer of the gift of salvation. It is up to the individual if they want to accept it or not. We should do our best to convince them of the supreme worth of the gift of salvation, but ultimately the choice to receive Jesus into their lives is theirs, not ours. Let us pray that this Christmas, many more men and women will come into the knowledge and experience of Jesus’ love.

Isaiah 52:7-10
7 How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings glad tidings, announcing peace, bearing good news, announcing salvation, and saying to Zion, “Your God is King!” 8 Hark! Your watchmen raise a cry, together they shout for joy, for they see directly, before their eyes, the LORD restoring Zion. 9 Break out together in song, O ruins of Jerusalem! For the LORD comforts his people, he redeems Jerusalem. 10 The LORD has bared his holy arm in the sight of all the nations; all the ends of the earth will behold the salvation of our God.

Psalm 98:1, 2-3, 3-4, 5-6 (3c)
R: All the ends of the earth have seen the saving power of God.
1 Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done wondrous deeds; his right hand has won victory for him, his holy arm. (R) 2 The LORD has made his salvation known: in the sight of the nations he has revealed his justice. 3 He has remembered his kindness and his faithfulness toward the house of Israel. (R) All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation by our God. 4 Sing joyfully to the LORD, all you lands; break into song; sing praise. (R) 5 Sing praise to the LORD with the harp, with the harp and melodious song. 6 With trumpets and the sound of the horn sing joyfully before the King, the LORD. (R)

Jesus is the greatest gift that God has given the world. We cannot ask for anything greater than the gift of the Son of God as our redeemer. If you can think of a better gift then please let me know as I will have to rethink my whole life strategy. I think I am safe in assuming no one will contact me for this purpose.

Hebrews 1:1-6
1 Brothers and sisters: In times past, God spoke in partial and various ways to our ancestors through the prophets; 2 in these last days, he spoke to us through a son, whom he made heir of all things and through whom he created the universe, 3 who is the refulgence of his glory, the very imprint of his being, and who sustains all things by his mighty word. When he had accomplished purification from sins, he took his seat at the right hand of the Majesty on high, 4 as far superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs. 5 For to which of the angels did God ever say: “You are my son; this day I have begotten you”? Or again: “I will be a father to him, and he shall be a son to me”? 6 And again, when he leads the firstborn into the world, he says: “Let all the angels of God worship him.”

The Johanine description of the birth of Jesus takes far more unraveling and explanation than we have room for here. Suffice it to say that John is speaking very deeply about the origin, or better, existence of Jesus and how and why He was sent to us. Let us recognize that there is a great deal more that we could say and leave it at that. I am sure you are all quite capable of reflecting upon this wonderful mystery yourselves.

John 1:1-18
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be 4 through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; 5 the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 6 A man named John was sent from God. 7 He came for testimony, to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. 8 He was not the light, but came to testify to the light. 9 The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world came to be through him, but the world did not know him. 11 He came to what was his own, but his own people did not accept him. 12 But to those who did accept him he gave power to become children of God, to those who believe in his name, 13 who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice nor by a man’s decision but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we saw his glory, the glory as of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth. 15 John testified to him and cried out, saying, “This was he of whom I said, ‘The one who is coming after me ranks ahead of me because he existed before me.’ ” 16 From his fullness we have all received, grace in place of grace, 17 because while the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God. The only Son, God, who is at the Father’s side, has revealed him.

my reflections
t h i n k : We should do our best to convince others of the supreme worth of the gift of salvation, but ultimately the choice to receive Jesus into their lives is theirs, not ours.

God’s special verse/thought for me today: Sing praises to God’s greatest gift for all of us – our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – the reason and meaning of my life, the reason why I live, our Father’s revelation. Jesus, you are my way, my truth and my life. Thank you Jesus. Praise you Jesus. Amen.

Thank You Lord for loving me and blessing me with such loving family and friends; for searching me and knowing me inside and out; for being my hiding place, for being the answer to all my questions; for loving me for me. Happy Birthday Lord Jesus, my Savior, my loving God, my friend. I will always love you. You are my joy and inspiration! You are awesome! J

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Letter from Jesus

A letter from Jesus

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated.

During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know that, at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them; but these days, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration.

Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration. I remember last year, there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts.

But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation.

The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my
face... when all the while I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years everyone closed their doors to me. Since I
wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner.
They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything.

They were having a grand time.

To top it all off, this big fat man, all dressed in red and wearing a long white beard, entered the room
yelling Ho‐Ho‐Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa
Claus, Santa Claus" as if the party were in his honor!

At midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me
and what do you know, no one hugged me.

Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me, but there was none. How would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one?

I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember the gifts, the parties, to eat and drink, and nobody
remembers me.

All I want this Christmas is for you to allow me into your life.

I would like you to recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came into this world to give
my life for you; I died on the cross, to save you.

Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. Because most people neglected to invite me to their party, I will
have my own celebration‐‐a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still
making the final arrangements.

Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to
attend; I will make a reservation for you and write your name in golden letters in my great guest book.
Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party.

Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon. I Love you!


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Why I Will Always Remember Who Jesus Is In My Life

Hebrews 1:1-2

In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Don't Fix People

Note to self: Take this advice to heart -- Don't fix people!

From: Relationship Reborn -- Gratitude

My favorite part: Comparisonitis! Guilty! lol

That's all for now. Sooo tired and happy too. Sikreto lang why. :)

Be blessed everyone!

P.S. Word of the week -- GRATITUDE!

Sunday, November 21, 2010


My weekly time with God
Things to be grateful for from the past week

of forgiveness
kindness of loved one and strangers
falling and feeling God's love before during and after the whole thing
small miracles
prayers answered
unanswered prayers
conflict then peace
time spent alone
pain and God's intervention
the knowledge that God will always be there
knowing that God will never be outgiven or outdone when it comes to goodness

Things to ask God for in the coming week

of patience
special favor for a dear friend's dearly departed mother -- forgiveness and eternal rest in the bosom of our Heavenly Father and Mother and our Saviour

Most important word God told me this week


I am forever humbled. Thank you Jesus. My life may not be perfect but I no longer want it to be. It's enough for me to know that I can count on You and Mama Mary no matter what. And knowing that makes all the difference in the world. I would never trade that for anything else. Thank you God. I love You God. You will always be my first, last and everything. I could not ask for more. Praise You Jesus. Amen.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Let Us Sing for Joy to the Lord

Psalm 95:1-2
Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
 let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving
 and extol him with music and song.

Wow! I love this! My favorite book in the Holy Bible has always been Psalm. I love music, guess it will always be my first love. My favorite mass is always one where the priests sing during the entire mass. I guess that's all I have to share for now. Still sick but very very hopeful. Things are looking up and I have my God and music to thank for that. LOVE! :)

Sunday, November 14, 2010

SABBATH PAUSE -- My weekly time with God

My weekly time with God
Things to be grateful for from the past week


Things to ask God for in the coming week


Most important word God told me this week


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Why Prayer & Faith Should Always Go Together

Today is the second day of the Novena for Our Virgin of the Rule and as expected, our church was packed with people -- fellow pilgrims like us who wanted to show how much we love our Blessed Virgin Mother and share in her feast. It was exhilarating being back in church again after a week's absence but more so because of the solemnity of this occasion. Before I put my foot in my mouth again, yes, every mass celebrated in our church is solemn but this was doubly so because of the upcoming feast day of Mama Mary, our patron saint, Virgin of the Rule.

I was touched by so many things that were said and done by the priests and the people around me. First, it was amazing to hear that when our patron, Mama Mary, was brought to a nearby town in Cordova, so many people were moved to tears and she was welcome with such adoration that the priest couldn't help but share it with us. I am fully aware how miraculous Mama Mary is and how our patron answers prayers. She truly intercedes for us in more ways than one. I remember breaking down in front of her in 2007, I can't remember if it was November or December but all I know is that she not only gave me a chance to land that job, she made sure I had so much fun. The memories alone are more than enough to last me a lifetime. I met so many new friends, rekindled old friendships and brought me closer to my Papa. He kept calling me while I was there, almost everyday. For some reason, we had so much fun chatting that it was like we were in the same place, hanging out. So what began as a fulfilling opportunity became a father-daughter bonding for which I am forever grateful! Thank you so much Mama Mary.

The second thing that I noticed was the indescribable and harmonious way we sang the songs. It was like angels were singing with us. And the choir was very good. The songs chosen were perfect. And everyone was in a great mood. There was no sign of animosity anywhere. Forgive me for my candor but I notice sometimes that some people are in a sour mood while in church. Today was quite different. It was like Mama Mary was there with us! No goosebumps right now, just a warm fuzzy feeling inside that tells me she's always there.

And then while we were singing the final song, all the priests and servants were looking up to Mama Mary with such reverence and respect, such love and adoration, such veneration, that I don't think I'll ever get that mental picture out of my mind. The entire service was that solemn, that awesome. You could feel the palpable presence of God at work right then and there.

The main thing that struck me dumb was the homily. The Father's message is this -- Prayer and Faith must always go together. Faith without prayer is not enough. And it's not enough to have a monologue with our Lord and Saviour, we should take the time to listen to God's message. And the way the celebrant described God's voice really surprised me -- he said we should listen to that small voice in our hearts. Now I understand why they call it God Whispers!

You see I always expected God's voice to be this booming loud voice outside that tells us "It is done!" or "Forgiveness, my child." Never would I have expected that His voice could also be a small voice inside us, in our hearts, that tells us the good news. I guess that's how the Holy Spirit works in our lives, if we let Him. As the mass went on, I kept thinking to myself, "Now I understand what "Holy Trinity, One God" means. I won't elaborate on this anymore because I am afraid I might write the wrong thing. But one thing is for certain, God works in mysterious ways, and the Blessed Virgin Mary is the perfect and most shining example of God's amazing plan for us. All I can say is thank you Mama Mary. I am humbled by your presence in my life, in our lives. And thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. You are awesome!

Before I forget, the message today was simple -- Mama Mary make us instruments of God's love and peace. This we humbly ask in the mighty name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Friday, November 12, 2010

How Deep The Father's Love For Me

The past few weeks have been interesting yet stressful at the same time. I guess my unhealthy habits have caught up with me. For one, I haven't been eating and sleeping on time. It's like my body clock has gone bonkers, and not in a good way. So not funny. You see, being a workaholic does take its toll when you let it go too far. I feel like I've been running back and forth trying to get things done and searching for ways to get my other blogs up and running and it's killing me. I should be saying my blog's making a killing now but no!

This is a lesson that I have to take to heart and perhaps record here, where I am most at home, because I want to be able to read it one day and say to myself, "Wow, was I really that O.C. about making money." Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with the idea of making money. It's like I feel guilty for trying too hard or that I'm not doing that much to get things going. I don't know why I'm scared of money. Hey, doesn't everyone try to make a living these days? It's like I carry this inner shame for wanting to buy fancy stuff for myself or my family. I don't want to waste time trying to justify that so I'm moving on.

I guess the point I'd like to make in this journal entry is that I need to chill out, hang out with friends, get a hobby, learn to have fun, and try to forget about problems and worries before I go nuts. lol. Kidding. Seriously, I've started taking up walking as my exercise again so that's a change in the right direction. Maybe I should stop counting steps for now and enjoy the scenery. I've been so caught up with the Pedometer in my ipod nano that I've forgotten how truly fascinating walking outside truly is. So glad I sold that treadmill.

Anyway, last night I walked to church, as I'm wont to do these days, but I didn't go in or anything. There was no mass, no prayer meeting, I wasn't dressed for our prayer room so I turned right and went down our local pier. Sure, it's a small one but it's where our ferry boats can be found. I so love riding them too but last night was about rumination. I gazed at the moon, the stars and I think it was Jupiter, that's what my Papa says. If it doesn't blink, it's Jupiter. Last time it was Venus. My father loves astronomy, one of his many hobbies. He's my idol, my Papa, he's a scientist (geologist) by profession, but he's also an artist. How I would love to be multi-dimensional like him. He writes ... he has already written his own memoirs although it is in Italian. Me? I'm still trying to gather enough courage to start writing my own book. That's a dream I've had for like a decade now. He also gazes at the stars and the planets. And I hear his eldest grandson, my nephew is starting to take an interest in Astronomy too. Wow! My Papa's family is so cool.

But I digress. I started walking because I wanted to lose weight and gain a new and better perspective at the same time. I read online that it was healthy to walk around while the sun is up so that you can soak up the wonders of nature during your walk. During one of those walks, I mustered up enough guts to climb the new bridge -- yeah, climb is the word. It was a wonder that I didn't lose breath during the whole thing though I did stop at the middle of the bridge to stare at the cute little birds flying back and forth. I had forgotten how little sparrows jump from one spot to another while they're on the ground. So cute! Then secret secret and I continued to the other side of the bridge. I went under the bridge and found so many different people. It was a discovery of sorts. I even found an older man jogging. Very interesting. Then there were some kids and parents who were on the playground and for some reason this brought back an old longing (for kids).

Yeah, I know, different year, same yearning. It's like old memories came rushing back and I couldn't help but wish that I had made different decisions, took the right steps and maybe found myself someone with whom to build a family with. And then the confusion came back. I've been flipping back and forth about this and I guess now I know that I was never meant to join the convent. I feel so bad saying that cuz for me it's like saying No to God. And I so want to say Yes! But then I also want a baby. Is that so bad? I hear myself asking the same question time and time again and the answer remains I dunno. This is such a deja vu moment.

I guess this is another Father issue that I have yet to address. Yes, I shy away from boys (before), men now, for some reason I just don't know how to act. I pretend I'm all cool but I'm still the same awkward Catholic schoolgirl I've always been deep inside. Sigh. No wonder I've got issues.

The worst part is, I so want to get over these issues so that I can just enjoy life. You know, live without fear or worry or doubt or any of that nonsense and once again it all comes back to Faith. So much has happened and yet I'm still rooted to the ground. So many people to help, so many projects to do, so many ways to serve, but I can't even sustain the one thing that I promised our Blessed Virgin. Oh my! This is not what I had planned when I coined up my own M.D. meaning -- Make a Difference.

Did you know that there are 3 homeless men living outside our church? Or that they were offered shelter but they decided to stay? I have yet to find out why but this is just the tip of the iceberg. So many children to feed,
so many beggars to help, so many homeless to shelter. Sure, giving a burger and bread here and there is cool but I so want to do more. This inaction is killing me. I think that's the third time I've mentioned that word. Apologies. Just an expression. It's like I want to spur myself into action, you know. But I have no idea which direction to take or what to do to help. The desire to serve is ingrained deep into my heart and subconscious yet I'm finding so many reasons not to. Silly huh? I think it's time to let my heart do the talking now.

And so I said yes to a project at my alma mater on Dec. 8, Immaculate Conception. Heaven help me if I don't show up cuz I'll probably be berating myself until the new year. There goes the positive thinking I'm supposed to be practicing by now. Okay, let me turn this around. They say total surrender to Jesus Christ is all it takes. Just say an unwavering "Yes!" to Christ and your life will be so much easier. The thing is, the closer I get to that point, the more I run or is it shy or dance away from Jesus. I am so done with games and I just want to obey His will, you know. For some reason though, I keep fighting even my own instincts. Today I realize that I haven't written a solid article in sooooo long. Plus, my mind is like a train, full speed ahead. I have so many ideas that I want to get down in writing but that's just it! So many buts. So many excuses. And yet, this is a moment of clarity that I am so grateful for. I'm so glad I finally got this off my chest. The past couple of weeks have been torture, both physically and emotionally. I got sick, chest pains, eye strain, migraine, so much rain in my life that I have to pause tonight and take stock of what I've done, said and haven't done until now.

For now, I just want to say a short prayer for Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I am forever grateful to You Lord Jesus for all the gifts that You have given me. I don't know why I'm making this so hard on myself but I know that somehow You are listening. And You are answering my prayers, one by one, even the ones left unsaid. Faith like a child. Faith as small as a mustard seed. You said that's all it takes. And I believe You. I believe in You. So while I'm writing this, I'm beginning to ask myself, why all these questions? Why not just believe, and trust, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!?! I mean, isn't that what life is all about? Now I am truly convinced that it's not time but LOVE that heals a broken heart and that's so true! I think I'm done thinking for tonight. I just wanted to thank You Jesus for everyone you have sent my way. For those who stayed for the long haul, especially my loving family and loyal friends. I may not be perfect but now I realize that I no longer want to be perfect because it brings so much pain. I just want to be simple now. And more faithful. Faith like a mustard seed. Faith like a child. Thank You Father. I am moved by Your love for me and I just wanted to say thank you. And one more thing ... I love You. Thank You Jesus. Praise You Jesus. Amen.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

When The Master Steps In ... (What Do You Do?)

For the first time ever (yeah, a bit embarrassing) I felt the hug from God that I've always heard and read about. I don't know, maybe it's cuz today I'm more open than usual. Most of the time you won't find me defenseless. But today I'm really feeling bad. Health and otherwise. It was weird but while I was reading this post from Bo Sanchez and I read these lovely words -- "The Master stepped in." -- I felt someone touch me. It's not creepy or anything. In fact, it was like someone really was behind me.

Needless to say, no matter how bad things may get from now on, I won't let my mind control me anymore. I'm giving in to my heart and my heart wants Kristo. He's who I'm yearning for I guess. It's just so darn hard to see God at work when you tend to complain most of the time, which I do these days. So this is kind of like coming full circle ... like being in a play or dance where you're either the victim or the villain when you so desperately want to be the hero. And when that day or night finally comes, you feel awful, yet inspired. You know that feeling you get when things couldn't get any worse yet inside you feel all warm and fuzzy? And honestly I'm not even in love. (Wish I were though.)

Yeah, I guess God does surprise us during the least expected moments. During those times when you just want to shout and let off steam yet you keep pressing on, trying desperately (I know, twice in the same blog) to go for that moment when you can say, "Yes, my work is done for the night." In between those moments, that's when God comes in and intervenes. Right now I feel in my heart that He's trying to tell me something. Maybe slow down? Or turn off that computer now and get some rest? Or stop typing and enjoy a quiet moment with Me? Now who am I to say no to that? So I say "Ciao" for now and give in to this longing. Good night friends! I'm spending time with my God, my Father. Be blessed! :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I Thank You My Brighter Future Is On Its Way!

November 3, 2010

Dear Kristina,

Let me tell you something really powerful: You shouldn’t only be grateful
for the blessings that you already have, but you should also be grateful
for the blessings that are yet to come.

I complete you,

P.S. What do I mean, Kristina? Instead of praying with fear, “Please give
me this house. Please, please, please!” say instead with complete
confidence and joy, “I thank you my house is on its way!”

I thank you my future family is on it's way! Loving, sweet, kind-hearted and all from You. Thank You God! :)

Monday, November 1, 2010

Could This Be An Answered Prayer?

November 1, 2010

Dear Kristina,

If you want more miracles in your life, you’ve got to be thankful not only
for what you see, but for what you don’t see.

Working for you,

P.S. Being thankful in all circumstances means penetrating the physical
realm and entering into the spiritual realm—into the sphere of the
invisible. Go there, Kristina!

I say Yes, Jesus! Amen.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The True Measure Of Wealth

October 31, 2010

Dear Kristina,

Being thankful is powerful. It has explosive power. When you’re thankful,
you unlock your happiness. You unlock your peace. You unlock the storeroom
of my blessings. And you unlock your wealth.


P.S. Kristina, I’ve always told you this but I like repeating myself:
Wealth is not measured by how much money you have. It’s measured by how
thankful you are.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

What Core Gifts Are For

Dear Kristina,

Make your strength — whatever it is — even stronger. Because that's your special gift to the world.

Wow me,

P.S. Develop your core gift, Kristina. By using it, you tell the world how great I am.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Real Success

October 28, 2010

Dear Kristina,

There are two types of successful people in the world. First are those who
are successful in one field only—but are dismal failures in other areas.
Which isn’t really success at all.

The second are those who are successful in all the most important areas of
their lives.

Abundant Blessings,

P.S. I made you to be the second type, Kristina.


I just discovered this website with awesome videos.

A link to my personal favorite ... enjoy!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Short Prayer Before I Fall Asleep

Thank you Lord Jesus for a fruitful day. I may be tired but I know that You are with me still. Your miracles keep on coming. Thank you Lord for Your never-ending kindness and Your guidance, wisdom and enlightenment. I am grateful most especially for the gifts that you have given me, especially the gifts of the Holy Spirit. May Your love continue to reign in my heart so that as I surrender myself to You each day, I will see Your constant presence in my life and never again surrender to anyone or anything other than You. Thank You Lord Jesus Christ, my Saviour, my Redeemer, my God. I will praise Your name forever Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Word of the day: Yipee!

October 27, 2010

Dear Kristina,

Do you need a blessing? Close your eyes, send out an order, and be at
peace. Live life to the full as though you already have what you need.
Soon, the blessing that you need will come rolling down at your feet.


P.S. Just a warning: Sometimes, the blessing that will arrive may not be in
the model you ordered for. Rather, it’ll be a newer, upgraded, classier
version. Hope you don’t mind the last minute change, Kristina.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Am Grateful -- Early Christmas Gift!

I got this in my inbox today. Exciting news. Yay! And it goes:

Dear Misty,

As you know there's an upcoming Webinar (online live question and answer) on November 3,2010. Wednesday in the evening. Who can attend? Those who attended the online VA seminar (they did it by downloading the materials) and those who will attend the Oct 29/this friday seminar.

In that webinar our guest is from CEBU, a VA and here's her ENTIRE SUCESS STORY for you to read up and hopefully be inspired to take the steps she took.

See you online or on FRIDAY.

Now live a marvelous life,

Jomar Hilario

Thank You God! :)

I Am Grateful to be one of Your children Lord

Dear Kristina,

I don't exempt my children from making mistakes. If I did, then I'd be exempting them from receiving higher wisdom, profound growth and great success. For all these wonderful gifts come through making mistakes.

Don't stop trying,

P.S. I'll share your victories and I'll share your failures. We're in this together, Kristina.

Thank you, Lord Jesus. I'm ready to make mistakes and fail ... Ready for wisdom, growth and success now too ... as long as You're with me, nothing can beat us. Never mind the growing pains. I can take it cuz I'm a big girl now. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

I Serve Through My Core Gifts (Surprise!)

October 26, 2010

Dear Kristina,

You’re an expert. You just don’t know about it yet.

So I’m telling you,

P.S. Strut your stuff, Kristina. Tell the world how you can serve.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Open The Eyes of My Heart Lord

Dear Kristina,

I love my creation. I get a high just looking at trees and stars and moons and mountains and seas and skies. I hope you do too. Open your eyes to see my wondrous beauty in them.

Master Craftsman,

P.S. You'll meet me there, Kristina.

You be you -- God

October 24, 2010

Dear Kristina,

The world needs someone as awesome and wonderful as you are.  The world hungers for heroes, models, guideposts, signs of hope, beacons of magnanimity. Take your place. Live your life.

You’re brilliant,

P.S. If you won’t be you, no one else will, Kristina.

Wow! The Answer to My Incessant Question -- What Is My Purpose In Life?

October 23, 2010

Dear Kristina,

I’ve called you to serve me with your talent. Be willing to make mistakes.
Be willing to fail. 


P.S. Be willing to be a fool for me, Kristina.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Create A Hunger - Give!

Dear Kristina,

Tithing is a doorway of blessing. Because when you give your money away, you create hunger. It's this hunger that makes people wealthy. People with hunger work harder. People who don't have hunger become complacent.  


P.S. Remain hungry, Kristina. Give your money away.

Alicia Keys - Tell you something - Nana's Reprise

Lord teach me to listen, to read between the lines, to understand, to console, to give more of myself without expecting anything in return. Thank you Jesus for giving me such a loving family. Thank you for giving me time to bond with my Lola. Mama Mary, please tell my Mama and Papa I miss them and love them. May they rest in peace. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

For everyone else, hope you enjoy this video and appreciate your loved ones more. I hope to do the same from now on.

The Reason Why My Heart Still Sings

I love my Lola. And I just realized today how she and my Lolo raised me from infancy to adulthood. I was laughing so hard cuz of her story. When I was just a few months old, she would eat puto while I was sitting on her lap and since I kept begging to be fed, she would give me a bit for two. No wonder I was weaned before I turned one. My Lola is amazing. Such a strong, inspiring woman. Very religious, very kind. I just never realized it til now. I'm just grateful it's not yet too late. I intend to spend as much time as I can with her while she's still with us. Life gets in the way sometimes but now I promise myself I will make time. I love you Lola. I bless you in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Today's Gospel (Blessed Sunday Everyone!)


The only thing we should really take pride in for is our obedience to the will of God — and even this is a gift to us from God, a result of His grace. We should be proud of ourselves when we stand for the truth and cooperate with God’s grace in our lives. We should always resist the thought that we did it under our own strength because this is a lie. True prayer and true humility come only from lives of obedience to God’s will. Let us seek to be an example of this to others.

Luke 18:9-14
9 Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. 10 “Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ 13 But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

my reflections
t h i n k : True prayer and true humility come only from obedience to God’s will.

Why I Will Always Be Grateful

Dear Kristina,

I have noticed that those who forget where they've come from lose their gratitude quickly. And they complain and become unhappy. Never do that. Always look back and give thanks. Seeing how far you've gone will keep you always grateful.

Awed by what you're becoming,

P.S. Be grateful, Kristina. Your peace depends on it.

Monday, October 18, 2010

For The Sake Of The Call -- My Version

For the first time in weeks I was finally able to chat with my Father for longer than 10 minutes. FYI, calls to cellphones in Italy are sooooo expensive! I was so happy when my Papa said "Pronto?" This will probably be my word of the week, or so I think. I was so excited and nervous that my words kept pouring out like a faucet that was left open until my Papa finally said it was time to say bye bye. I have a feeling he could no longer understand me that well. Whenever I talk too fast, the language barrier steps in and poof! The magic is gone, for the night at least.

The thing is, my heart is kind of heavy right now. I know it's because we're miles apart and I have yet to see my father for the second time. I know, drama. I sooo want to fly to Rome right now and surprise my Papa. But the trepidation creeps back in. Will his family (my family too right?) accept me? Will they welcome me with open arms and warm embrace? In short, will I be accepted or rejected?

Rejection has always been my issue since birth. Actually, the one who pointed that out was one of the leaders at St. Mary's Little Children in Talisay, Cebu. Yes, she hit the mark right on target. And I've been haunted by that word ever since. I've shied away from potential friends, boyfriends, lovers ... you get the picture. I even wanted to join the convent at one point. But then I changed my mind. And I've been asking myself if that was the worst decision I ever made. Until now, I feel like I said "No" to God by saying no to joining the Carmelites. Yes, I was invited, I heard and felt the call, I knew where I was meant to go but still I said "No."

Can you imagine the guilt I've been carrying around since then. I feel like such a selfish, immature, horrible person for rejecting His call. Can you imagine my surprise when a local priest who I confessed this guilt to told me "You're not meant for the convent because you fall in love."

What? I was shocked and amazed at the same time because, embarrassing as it was, the priest hit the mark yet again. Yes, unfortunately, I do fall in love oh so easily. I fall in love (or like) at first sight or I develop feelings for guy friends who I allow to get close enough. And then, when one of them reciprocates, I head for the hills! Hey, if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this problem, please let me know k? lol.

Anyway, my story is filled with so many blessing and so many heartbreaks, but looking back now, I realize that the blessings outweigh the heartbreaks by tons. Immeasurable blessings, rewards probably for those times that I've been good. But wait, God isn't like that. He gives in equal measures and He can never be outgiven. I guess the only prayer that hasn't been answered (aside from seeing my Father again) is having a baby, a baby girl. I've always wanted one and I don't know why I turn away every time God sends someone my way who could potentially help bring that dream alive.

Silly me for wanting a baby that I can't have on my own (the reproduction part). I know there are artificial means but I say "NEVER!" to that. In vitro? No way! (No offense to others out there who want this.) Yes, there's adoption but I want my own baby. Plus, I've always told myself that I don't want my future baby to grow up without a father like me. (Wait, I had my grandpa as my first Papa but you get the drift.) The trauma would be too much for any child and I don't want to inflict that on another human being, especially my own flesh and blood. No, I don't blame my Mama or my Papa for my past, and I certainly don't blame God. I've stopped doing that and I don't wanna go down that road again. Too much poison, too much drama. Too tired for that.

And now Mariah is singing "I Wanna Know What Love Is" so I think it's time to close shop for the night. lol. There you go. Now you know part of my story. It's still TBC (to be continued) so we'll see. I place all my trust in Jesus because I know He will never desert me and He never disappoints. I guess He's saying "Wait!" I don't know what the future holds but I sure hope that someday, somewhere, someone is waiting to love me. And then the baby will follow. This I ask, in Jesus' name. Amen.

How Our Tears Can Heal Us

Use your tears to make you more mature. Stronger. Wiser. Always ask yourself the question, "What is this experience teaching me?" -- Fill Your Life with Miracles -- Bo Sanchez

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

God Made Me (and You) Incredible

Dear Kristina,

I don't know why you don't strut your superpowers more often. Shy? False humility?  Thinking of what others will say? Afraid that you'll lose a few friends because they'll be intimidated? Let them be. Let them think what they want to think. You be you.

The Original Super,
P.S. Just be who you are, (Name). I made you incredible. So shine with the brilliance of a zillion stars.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Because God Wants Me To Share My Success Story

I got this interesting email from Jomar the other week called "Our Success Itemized" and decided to hit reply. After all, what do I have to lose. As I was writing this, I realized how much I've grown as a person and as a Christian. This is awesome!

Here's the deal: We have to share details about our life, who we are, what we do, our past successes and failures, how we got to where we are, our goals ... okay I'm adding some stuff into this. Please bear with me. Anyway, the end result is you discover who you were, who you have become and who you want to be in the future.

This is my story. Hope you enjoy it! :)

I'm a 34 year old writer and I've been writing virtually my whole life. For some reason though, I have this horrible fear of speaking in public and talking in front of a crowd. In College, I conquered my fears of public speaking by joining our university’s oratorical speaking contest where I spoke using my own writing, froze midway and did not place at all.

The next year my teacher convinced me to give it another shot, this time as an extemporaneous speaker (goosebumps now, remembering the trepidation). The question? What's your stand on death penalty? I had just researched and written an article about it for our student paper and felt strongly against it so expressing my opinion backed by data got me first place. That was probably the highlight of my college life (aside from the EIC gig) cuz activist that I am, I didn’t join graduation. So the trophy was smaller than the declamation contest winner but the feeling was both humbling and empowering. Praise God!

I joined our student paper freshman year and became an EIC on my third year in college. Then I became an activist. J

I applied and got a student correspondent gig at a local daily (Sun Star) where I learned from the best in editorial and news writing. Being a student writer rocks! So glad I decided not to ditch our student paper to join the dance troupe. Seriously!

After college I joined an NGO and worked with grassroots women, educating them and doing research at the same time. I miss that experience so much!

After a couple of odd jobs, I joined an American publishing company as a junior editor then took an exam, became a senior editor then became managing editor. That was an awesome learning experience all on its own. Learned much about myself as a person and as a writer-editor.

I applied for another American company, a manufacturing company at MEPZ 2, as a Technical Writer. It was both the best and worst time I’ve ever had. The nerves, the endless round of exams and interviews, it was enough to bring me to tears in our local church. Thankfully, I got called first (I still can’t believe it til now cuz there was a veteran journalist from CDN during the interview) and got in!

I joined countless journalism seminars, educational discussions, leadership trainings, Jomar Hilario's VA seminar and Internet Marketing Workshop – it was a wonderful experience and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world! Thank God!

I also joined several online learning groups, most of them run by Bo Sanchez like the Truly Rich Club, and then a few international online trainings like the Challenge, Stephen Pierce and other mentors that offered their services for little or no fee.

I’ve read so many books – those that come to mind are books and eBooks written by Bo Sanchez (in order, from memory: 1. Thank God He’s Boss 2. How to Make Your Life Beautiful 3. Your Past Does Not Define Your Future 4. How to Turn Thoughts Into Things 5. How to Know If Your Dreams Are God’s Dreams, etc.

I also read the Purpose Driven Life, which was both eye opening and mind boggling. Seriously, it helped turn my life around. Now I’m constantly seeking my purpose and each day is a revelation for which I am grateful.

I read the first and last part of the autobiography of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and it was very enlightening. For some reason, I have this tendency to be impatient when reading. I either count pages til I get to the end or scan and choose the best parts. At times I skip to the end just to know how it all wraps up. I know. Cheating! lol. That's what makes reading fun for me. The variety. No one tells me how to read my books and I love that!

I also love fantasy books so I’ve read all of the Chronicles of Narnia books, Harry Potter books (except the last one, for some reason I no longer wanted to). I’m also a fan of Terry Brooks (thanks to a close friend, who got me hooked, in a good way) so I’ve read most of his books. Now I’ve got the Genesis of Shannara series waiting for me to pick them up again. Yes, I was reviewing Armageddon’s Children.

I’ve also read some books from the Rich Dad, Poor Dad series (back when I was in debt after my mama died and money was tight), some books about getting out of credit card debt, etc.

Obviously, I failed at controlling my spending habits which meant at one time I had 5 credit cards all at once (3 from one bank). Kind of traumatic. Thank God for my Lola and Papa who were lifesavers. And having Social Security and PAG-IBIG also helped. Of course, a stable source of income helped too. But without my family, I would've been totally lost. They're a BIG part of my secret to success.

Another failure, I couldn’t settle my Mama’s hospital debt, which meant I had to wait many years before my Papa and Lola could bail me out of that one. I’m talking threats of lawsuits, etc. It was awful!

Minor failure back in college, I wanted to run for Student Council president in my 4th year in college, became the party’s chairperson instead.

Major setback, I turned my back (literally and figuratively) on fulfilling my dreams of becoming a lawyer because I got disillusioned with the justice system, which it seems can be bought. Tsk tsk tsk. I’m not one to judge but being a student activist does have its advantages. It opened my eyes to reality, thank God!

In a way, it was probably God's way of telling me I was never meant to be a lawyer. I love being a writer and I intend to be one all my life. J

I succeeded at being a student leader, journalist, writer, editor, copyeditor, copywriter … been writing since grade school and I so enjoy it!

Thank God I also succeeded at my online writing career. There have been ups and downs, been through a scam (or 2 or 3!) but lesson learned, I’ve moved on and I believe I’m doing what I’m meant to do.

I have a feeling that God is guiding me right where He wants me to be. Writer for life. My life’s dreams, which I am confident are also God’s dreams. I want spiritual maturity first and foremost. That road is kind of hard but I promised myself I would stop complaining and always be grateful no matter what.

I've been praying for financial abundance (and maturity) so that I can share my blessings with my family and loved ones and hopefully my community. Glaucoma is now my number one enemy. Both my father and grandma have it and they need surgery, I guess. This is on my wishlist this year that can't be written on Amazon. I've been praying for a miracle but I guess God has a reason for saying "Wait!"

I want to travel – visit my Papa in Italy and meet our relatives, especially my nephew, who is now 7 years old! I want to pursue and keep writing as my hobby and source of income, which is exactly where I am right now. I also want to learn more new things, visit other places, maybe migrate somewhere (Australia, I hope). J

Right now, I’m happy where I belong. I want to learn more about Internet Marketing and how to earn from it, become better at managing my tasks and others in the future, still to aid my other goals actually.

In one sentence, my personal goal is to find my place in this world, just as God has intended – no doubts, no confusion – servant of God all the way.

My biggest investment? I think my computer. I had to take out two loans just to buy it. Lol. Looking back now, it was foolish at the time but I am grateful cuz today it’s my instrument – both for work and for fun! Writing has become so much fun since I got this mini pc. It’s a bit worn out now but it still lets me do my work so I can’t complain (not all the time). Who knows? Maybe someday I can publish my very own book. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

And yes, I’m still eyeing that iMac. J

Wow! This truly is eye-opening. I learned so much and now my path is clear. I am both a writer and a servant of God. God's writer-servant.