I haven’t written a blog entry for so long, I’m not even sure if I still can. lol.
Seriously, today was such a fun awakening and adventure rolled into one. I met some of my old friends from my old office. You know what I discovered? I have an inferiority complex combine with an introverted attention seeker. I have noticed during the past few days a certain discontent which I am unable to identify. I have tried listening more to the inner voice inside me and I noticed that I tend to jump in on conversations that don’t involve me. Plus, I tend to cringe at the end of every song before my music player moves on to the next one. It’s like I expect something to happen. Weird! The bad news is I still don’t have a lot of self-control. The good news is that at least I’m listening to my body now. It is kind of strange how much a few years can fly by without me even noticing. One thing is for sure, I have a few New Year’s resolutions already prepared for 2012.
A few lessons I learned in 2011:
- Health is wealth. No getting around it.
- What goes around really does come around. The lies I have been hiding behind for the past several years just collapsed and I feel so bare and exposed.
- You can’t force someone to love you. You can try to get them to like you. And I have the scars to prove that.
- The difference between love and hate is paper thin. So is the difference between humility and pride. False bravado and courage.
I have been stumbling around blind for the past 3 years and these lessons are just sinking in. I am very happy that these have finally been revealed. It’s like running around like a horse with blinders that have finally been torn from my eyes. Much better than running around like a headless chicken, at least. J
I have been running around chasing people when most of them have been around all along. I was just too blind to see the truth. People move on but friends tend to stick around. At least the best ones do. And this is the best lesson I learned tonight. Really, it’s not about me. It truly is about you Jesus. I am sorry for the many times that I have hurt you in the past. I am mostly sorry for my indifference. I would like to start over again and I would like to do it with You Jesus. This is the best way I know how. Love song for my Saviour to follow. Thank You Lord Jesus. Amen. J