Grateful and Graceful - How to Deal with Mood Swings

"Feelings, good and bad, always come and go.  The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low."

Wow! Who knew dealing with mood swings could be so easy? Blessed Sunday, everyone! :)

Freedom...

A few things I learned about freedom from my own personal journey:
It begins with forgiveness and acceptance.
Taking the high road means getting off my high horse and getting my hands dirty with love.
Freedom and freewill are 2 different things but they are closely intertwined.
Freedom means knowing when to stop and knowing when to push.
Sometimes, in order to be truly free, we must give up our freedom and trust that God will lead us where we're destined to go.

Thank You, Lord Jesus. Amen.

Independence... (Now I Can Dance!)

I used to consider myself fiercely independent and stubborn. But now I realize I was wrong about the independent part. Being stubborn is not something that I am particularly proud of, mostly because it does not result in good things and usually earns the ire of good people instead. Since this is a post about independence, I will hold off on the stubborn part and save it for another blog post.

A very wise sister once told me, in order to be truly independent, I have to work on my financial life. My understanding of that advice is this: once I am financially independent, I can do what I want to do with my life with little or no barriers. Well, the idealist in me sees it that way.

Now I realize that what my wise sister says is true. With financial independence comes freedom -- freedom to do the things that I want, with limits of course. I am still far from achieving my financial goals (I am not even halfway there) but now I understand what my sister meant. Now I am ready to pursue my dreams and be truly independent.

I have also unearthed a few (not so easy to digest) truths along the way:

I was very dependent on my Mama.
When she died, I crawled back into my little shell and have not emerged since. I was not only financially dependent on my mama, but also dependent on her for most of my needs - emotional, physical, even spiritual. So imagine my rage when God 'took her from me.' Yes, it's childish to say that but I have to say it out loud and see it in writing to fully understand the implication of that statement.

Acceptance does not come easy  for me.
After almost 10 years, her death is still a blow that hurts and now I understand why. For some reason I keep nitpicking on the details and the more I do that, the further away I run from the genuine healing that God offers me every single day. It's like a scar whose scab never goes away because the owner (that's me!) keeps on picking at it. Annoying? Definitely! So why do I do it? Because it's the easiest thing to do. Rather than accept that Mama has moved on to a better place that God has prepared for her and all of us, I keep holding on to her. I know this is not healthy for both Mama and me.

God loves Mama and me.
I finally understand why God took her home earlier than I wished He would. She was suffering and He did not want her to. And so He has brought her to a better place. It truly is not about me. It's about Jesus. It's about His plan for my Mama. And His plan for me. And I am convinced that His plan for me is greater than anything I could ever understand or describe here. And so, I will pick up the pieces and move on.

His message is clear:
Get up.
Take up your cross.
Follow Me.

And so I will do all this and follow Jesus all my life. Or die trying. Now I understand why God 'took my Mama from me.' Yes, I was being childish. I still am. But now I know that God has a reason for everything and sometimes the fun part is in finding out what His reason is. Now I know that Jesus was, is, and always will be the Great I Am. Because He is. And He is always there. I may not see Him sometimes but His miracle is always evident. And for that I am eternally grateful. Now I can finally rejoice! Now I can dance!

Thank You, Jesus. I am awed by You. Always have, always will be. You Are and forever will be My God. Praise You, Jesus. Amen.

Missing...

For the past 3 weeks, I’ve been feeling really down… like I’ve lost someone but I don’t know who. Tomorrow is my late grandpa’s birthday. He would have been 95 this year. He passed away in 2003 so it’s been almost 10 years since he left us. But who’s counting? Well, maybe I am.

That could be one of the reasons why I’ve been teary eyed these past few weeks. It all started when I joined a mass at our local church one fine day. For some reason, after I took communion, I cried and cried and I could not stop. I cried because I was at a loss on how to help my grandma. I cried because I miss my mama and my papa who lives in Italy. And yes, I also cried cuz I miss my grandpa dearly. The days that followed have been really weird. The slightest provocation either got me down (in tears) or really irked me; it made me very mad or really sad. And I can’t pinpoint the source. I thought it was PMS but it’s been almost a month now so I'm pretty sure that’s not it.

And so I’ve decided to immerse myself in work again but for some reason, it’s not working! I don’t know what to do or who to call and so I am writing this to remind myself that life on earth may be fleeting but the people who have left us have gone to a better place and I dream of one day being reunited with them in heaven or where God decides to put me. At this point, I am reminded that I can’t control people or things or situations here on earth. Only God has the power to do that and I know He’s got my best interest at heart. He loves me and His timing is always perfect. So I guess my only choice now is to let go and let God. He knows what is right for me and He wants to bless me so I will wait.

Thank You, Lord Jesus for your love and your grace. Please bless my family, Lord Jesus. Always and forever I will love You, Lord Jesus. Amen.

The Good Samaritan -- an Attitude of Gratitude

Today's Gospel and Reflection from Kerygma Family

“And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied, “A man fell victim to robbers as he went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. They stripped and beat him and went off leaving him half-dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down that road, but when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side. 32 Likewise a Levite came to the place, and when he saw him, he passed by on the opposite side. 33 But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him was moved with compassion at the sight. 34 He approached the victim, poured oil and wine over his wounds and bandaged them. Then he lifted him up on his own animal, took him to an inn and cared for him. 35 The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper with the instruction, ‘Take care of him. If you spend more than what I have given you, I shall repay you on my way back.’ 36 Which of these three, in your opinion, was neighbor to the robbers’ victim?” 37 He answered, “The one who treated him with mercy.” Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Notice how the Samaritan went out of his way — binding up the wounds, pouring oil and wine, settling him on the horse, bringing him to a place of rest until he should return. And return he did! What amazing love and compassion.

It would be good to be reminded of the “works of mercy,” both spiritual and corporal. Perhaps we can use them as points for our examen of conscience in our meditations today. The spiritual works of mercy are: convert the sinner, instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, comfort the sorrowful, bear wrongs patiently, forgive injuries, and pray for the living and the dead. The corporal are: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, visit the imprisoned, and bury the dead. Fr. Brian Steele, MGL

REFLECTION QUESTION: Of the spiritual and corporal works of mercy enumerated above, what have you been fulfilling diligently? And which have you been neglecting?

Father, make me a Good Samaritan. Amen.

Cuz All You Wanted to Do Was Dance...

"That I should have bought you flowers and held your hand
Should have given all my hours when I had the chance
Take you to every party cuz all you wanted to do was dance."

Mother's Day is coming up and I've been thinking of new ways to honor my mom. And suddenly this stanza from Bruno Mars' latest single came to mind and I thought to myself, "It's perfect for Mama!" cuz she really loved to dance!

I think that's one thing that I inherited from her. I too love to dance. But this isn't about me.

Mama, I hope you're dancing now... dancing in heaven in Jesus' arms. Please pray for me and wait for me. I can't wait to join you! Looking back now, I realize that we (I) should celebrate life both here and after death... because now I'm starting to understand what they say that death is merely a way for us to be born again -- when we are able to claim our birthright -- life everlasting.

Thank you, Jesus! It's amazing to know that I have an awesome God just waiting for me to discover His Almighty presence in my life. So from now on, I surely will celebrate life! AMEN!!!

Pope Francis Says Constant Complaining Keeps Us from Noticing Jesus' Presence in Our Lives

—Constant complaining keeps one from noticing Jesus’ presence, Pope Francis says

Complaining frequently and stewing over disappointments can easily become an obsession that blocks one’s view of Jesus’ presence in difficult situations, Pope Francis said.

Celebrating the morning with staff members from the Domus Romana Sacerdotalis, a nearby residence and guesthouse for clergy, Pope Francis preached about the Gospel story from St. Luke about the two disappointed disciples on the road to Emmaus after the death of Jesus.

“They were afraid. All of the disciples were afraid,” he said. As they walked toward Emmaus and discussed everything that had happened, they were sad and complaining.

“And the more they complained, the more they were closed in on themselves: They did not have a horizon before them, only a wall,” the pope said, according to Vatican Radio.

The disciples had had such high hopes that Jesus would be the one who would redeem Israel, but they thought their hopes were destroyed, he said.

“And they stewed, so to speak, their lives in the juice of their complaints and kept going on and on and on with the complaining,” the pope said. “I think that many times when difficult things happen, including when we are visited by the cross, we run the risk of closing ourselves off in complaints.”

When all people can think of is how wrong things are going, Pope Francis said, the Lord is close, “but we don’t recognize him. He walks with us, but we don’t recognize him.”

Like the disciples joined by the risen Lord on the road to Emmaus, people can hear beautiful things, but deep down, they continue to be afraid, the pope said.

“Complaining seems safer. It’s something certain. This is my truth: failure,” he said.

But the Gospel story shows how very patient Jesus is with the disciples, first listening to them and then explaining things step by step, until they see him.

“Jesus does this with us, too,” the pope said. “Even in the darkest moments, he is always with us, walking with us.”

Complaining and griping — about others and about things in one’s own life — is harmful “because it dashes hope. Don’t get into this game of a life of complaints,” he said.

— The Catholic Sun

Why I am Now Confident that My Future is Bright -- Thank You God!

Wow! Last week was a nightmare and a dream rolled into one! Since Monday my mood had been bouncing up and down, up and down, up and down at an alarming pace!!! To cap off that week, I literally fell flat on my face. Well, my right knee and elbow suffered the brunt but you know what I mean. It's just been a really challenging week. And it was not even work-related.

But you know what I realized now that this week is finally over? God is good. And life is good. I just got a bit stuck on the negativity that I did not notice God's wonderful blessings. He gave me an important lesson today. People will surprise you. And I was very surprised with how today turned out. Let me rewind just a few hours back.

My neighbor's daughter -- Ashlee -- the sweetest little girl who is my favorite among all of  the kids in our neighborhood was seeking my attention yesterday afternoon but I was too busy to notice partly because I was in a bad mood and I wanted to go home and sulk. When I gave her 5 pesos, she showed me that she already had a few pesos. I did not know what she wanted. Maybe she just wanted a hug or a kiss. I know I sure could have used one myself. But I was a bit rude and I told her to save the money. I think I was just frustrated at myself because I am not saving money at my age.

Later that same night, I fell on the street and guess who was quick to help me out? That little girl's family. Her father helped me up, her mother comforted me, and her grandmother even massaged both my legs and checked for broken bones. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry but that was when it dawned on me how blind I truly have been. I have been surrounded by these amazing people almost my whole life and yet I barely spend time with them. I used to kiss their little girl when I saw her but for some reason, I have been avoiding her, which usually happens when I am too engrossed with work or when I am not feeling good about myself.

And now I am thinking this must be why God has not granted my dream and constant prayer - a little girl of my own. I have not yet outgrown my selfish ways and I have miles to go probably before I learn that kind of selfless love that only mothers and fathers have for their child.

Another thing I learned today, an attitude of gratitude goes way further than an attitude of grumbling and whining. Also, it is true what they say, "The Truth shall set you free." The Truth really did set me free. I understand now why they call it growing pains. But then, I would rather accept the truth and feel the pain rather than not feel anything at all. That is the worst experience I have ever had and I never want to go down that road again.

But do you know why I am now confident that my future is bright? The answer is simple, really. I have the best support system in the whole wide world. Family, friends, and yes, neighbors too! Who could ask for more? Thank You, Lord Jesus, for opening my eyes to see and experience compassion from the most unexpected people. Thank You, Mama Mary for bringing me closer to Jesus and reminding me to always remember Jesus wherever I go and whatever I do. I have been quite selfish and I am truly sorry. But I am also grateful for Your presence and LOVE Lord Jesus Christ.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love My Work

Here are the top 10 reasons why I love my work:

1. It puts food on my table.

2. I enjoy my work.

3. I can work whenever I want.

4. I can work wherever I want.

5. I can work with who I want.

6. I can work on what I want.

7. I can work on a variety of projects.

8. I can spend time with my family and friends even on weekdays.

9. I can eat home cooked meals with my family at home.

10. I can rest whenever I want.

I praise You Lord Jesus Christ for blessing me abundantly! Thank You, Lord Jesus! Amen.

Buon Compleanno / Happy Birthday to You

January is a special month for our family. My father celebrated his 72nd birthday yesterday and my grandmother celebrates her 90th birthday today. For some reason, I think I'm more excited than they are. lol. I can't believe these milestones! Thank You Lord Jesus!