For the past 3 weeks, I’ve been feeling really down… like I’ve lost someone but I don’t know who. Tomorrow is my late grandpa’s birthday. He would have been 95 this year. He passed away in 2003 so it’s been almost 10 years since he left us. But who’s counting? Well, maybe I am.
That could be one of the reasons why I’ve been teary eyed these past few weeks. It all started when I joined a mass at our local church one fine day. For some reason, after I took communion, I cried and cried and I could not stop. I cried because I was at a loss on how to help my grandma. I cried because I miss my mama and my papa who lives in Italy. And yes, I also cried cuz I miss my grandpa dearly. The days that followed have been really weird. The slightest provocation either got me down (in tears) or really irked me; it made me very mad or really sad. And I can’t pinpoint the source. I thought it was PMS but it’s been almost a month now so I'm pretty sure that’s not it.
And so I’ve decided to immerse myself in work again but for some reason, it’s not working! I don’t know what to do or who to call and so I am writing this to remind myself that life on earth may be fleeting but the people who have left us have gone to a better place and I dream of one day being reunited with them in heaven or where God decides to put me. At this point, I am reminded that I can’t control people or things or situations here on earth. Only God has the power to do that and I know He’s got my best interest at heart. He loves me and His timing is always perfect. So I guess my only choice now is to let go and let God. He knows what is right for me and He wants to bless me so I will wait.
Thank You, Lord Jesus for your love and your grace. Please bless my family, Lord Jesus. Always and forever I will love You, Lord Jesus. Amen.