Why I Am Seeking Heavenly Treasures Too

Two words: God's call.

It's as simple as that. When before I heard God's call, these days I feel His call ... and it's so intense it literally brings me to my knees with tears in my eyes. My heart is heavy because I know deep inside that I have ignored His call many times. But looking back I now realize that I have also said Yes to Him many times, and did small acts of kindness in reply. Somehow for me that just isn't enough.

I guess I'm still holding on to this dream, this vision that I would join the convent and become a nun. But, since I am chained to my desk and computer, I guess this dream is in the past now. I am probably meant to serve Him another way. And so I do my best to help out. Serving during Holy Mass in Church, helping out with God's lyrics so that my fellow Christian-Catholics can sing God's hymns in worship as one, troubleshooting PC errors, helping out here and there and joining my favorite church group -- our devotion to Our Mother of Perpetual Help.

For some reason I am drawn to our Blessed Virgin Mother. It's hard to explain, this connection. Yet there is also this contradiction within. Ah, now I know the word that has been bothering me the past few weeks. It's not addiction after all, it's contradiction. See, I have always thought that serving the Lord must be done full time; that Jesus won't have it any other way. Boy, was I wrong. God is not a dictator. He is so gentle and loving and kind and very, very patient. I could never fathom the depths of His love and mercy so I won't. I'll accept His gifts and do my best to serve Him the best way I can.

I've been retracing my steps and do you know where it has led me? Right back into the arms of my Saviour. It's kind of hard to explain. Sure, I may have my moments of weakness, but now I choose to focus on my strengths -- on the core gifts that God has given me. And I intend to develop them as much as I can, completely trusting that God will guide me. I know the road is not easy, and some habits may be hard to remove, but I am determined, and I will persevere, and I will trust in God always. In the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

P. S. More of this in my next posts.

All I can say is Thank You Jesus! And thank you Mama Mary! And thank you family and friends! I am grateful and I am not afraid to show it. Grateful me. Unforgetful You! Thank You God!