Wow! The Answer to My Incessant Question -- What Is My Purpose In Life?

October 23, 2010


Dear Kristina,


I’ve called you to serve me with your talent. Be willing to make mistakes.
Be willing to fail. 


Excited,
God


P.S. Be willing to be a fool for me, Kristina.

Create A Hunger - Give!

Dear Kristina,


Tithing is a doorway of blessing. Because when you give your money away, you create hunger. It's this hunger that makes people wealthy. People with hunger work harder. People who don't have hunger become complacent.  


Blessings,
God


P.S. Remain hungry, Kristina. Give your money away.

Alicia Keys - Tell you something - Nana's Reprise

Lord teach me to listen, to read between the lines, to understand, to console, to give more of myself without expecting anything in return. Thank you Jesus for giving me such a loving family. Thank you for giving me time to bond with my Lola. Mama Mary, please tell my Mama and Papa I miss them and love them. May they rest in peace. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

For everyone else, hope you enjoy this video and appreciate your loved ones more. I hope to do the same from now on.

The Reason Why My Heart Still Sings

I love my Lola. And I just realized today how she and my Lolo raised me from infancy to adulthood. I was laughing so hard cuz of her story. When I was just a few months old, she would eat puto while I was sitting on her lap and since I kept begging to be fed, she would give me a bit for two. No wonder I was weaned before I turned one. My Lola is amazing. Such a strong, inspiring woman. Very religious, very kind. I just never realized it til now. I'm just grateful it's not yet too late. I intend to spend as much time as I can with her while she's still with us. Life gets in the way sometimes but now I promise myself I will make time. I love you Lola. I bless you in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Today's Gospel (Blessed Sunday Everyone!)

G O S P E L

The only thing we should really take pride in for is our obedience to the will of God — and even this is a gift to us from God, a result of His grace. We should be proud of ourselves when we stand for the truth and cooperate with God’s grace in our lives. We should always resist the thought that we did it under our own strength because this is a lie. True prayer and true humility come only from lives of obedience to God’s will. Let us seek to be an example of this to others.

Luke 18:9-14
9 Jesus addressed this parable to those who were convinced of their own righteousness and despised everyone else. 10 “Two people went up to the temple area to pray; one was a Pharisee and the other was a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself, ‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity — greedy, dishonest, adulterous — or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ 13 But the tax collector stood off at a distance and would not even raise his eyes to heaven but beat his breast and prayed, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, the latter went home justified, not the former; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

my reflections
t h i n k : True prayer and true humility come only from obedience to God’s will.

Why I Will Always Be Grateful

Dear Kristina,

I have noticed that those who forget where they've come from lose their gratitude quickly. And they complain and become unhappy. Never do that. Always look back and give thanks. Seeing how far you've gone will keep you always grateful.

Awed by what you're becoming,
God

P.S. Be grateful, Kristina. Your peace depends on it.

For The Sake Of The Call -- My Version

For the first time in weeks I was finally able to chat with my Father for longer than 10 minutes. FYI, calls to cellphones in Italy are sooooo expensive! I was so happy when my Papa said "Pronto?" This will probably be my word of the week, or so I think. I was so excited and nervous that my words kept pouring out like a faucet that was left open until my Papa finally said it was time to say bye bye. I have a feeling he could no longer understand me that well. Whenever I talk too fast, the language barrier steps in and poof! The magic is gone, for the night at least.

The thing is, my heart is kind of heavy right now. I know it's because we're miles apart and I have yet to see my father for the second time. I know, drama. I sooo want to fly to Rome right now and surprise my Papa. But the trepidation creeps back in. Will his family (my family too right?) accept me? Will they welcome me with open arms and warm embrace? In short, will I be accepted or rejected?

Rejection has always been my issue since birth. Actually, the one who pointed that out was one of the leaders at St. Mary's Little Children in Talisay, Cebu. Yes, she hit the mark right on target. And I've been haunted by that word ever since. I've shied away from potential friends, boyfriends, lovers ... you get the picture. I even wanted to join the convent at one point. But then I changed my mind. And I've been asking myself if that was the worst decision I ever made. Until now, I feel like I said "No" to God by saying no to joining the Carmelites. Yes, I was invited, I heard and felt the call, I knew where I was meant to go but still I said "No."

Can you imagine the guilt I've been carrying around since then. I feel like such a selfish, immature, horrible person for rejecting His call. Can you imagine my surprise when a local priest who I confessed this guilt to told me "You're not meant for the convent because you fall in love."

What? I was shocked and amazed at the same time because, embarrassing as it was, the priest hit the mark yet again. Yes, unfortunately, I do fall in love oh so easily. I fall in love (or like) at first sight or I develop feelings for guy friends who I allow to get close enough. And then, when one of them reciprocates, I head for the hills! Hey, if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this problem, please let me know k? lol.

Anyway, my story is filled with so many blessing and so many heartbreaks, but looking back now, I realize that the blessings outweigh the heartbreaks by tons. Immeasurable blessings, rewards probably for those times that I've been good. But wait, God isn't like that. He gives in equal measures and He can never be outgiven. I guess the only prayer that hasn't been answered (aside from seeing my Father again) is having a baby, a baby girl. I've always wanted one and I don't know why I turn away every time God sends someone my way who could potentially help bring that dream alive.

Silly me for wanting a baby that I can't have on my own (the reproduction part). I know there are artificial means but I say "NEVER!" to that. In vitro? No way! (No offense to others out there who want this.) Yes, there's adoption but I want my own baby. Plus, I've always told myself that I don't want my future baby to grow up without a father like me. (Wait, I had my grandpa as my first Papa but you get the drift.) The trauma would be too much for any child and I don't want to inflict that on another human being, especially my own flesh and blood. No, I don't blame my Mama or my Papa for my past, and I certainly don't blame God. I've stopped doing that and I don't wanna go down that road again. Too much poison, too much drama. Too tired for that.

And now Mariah is singing "I Wanna Know What Love Is" so I think it's time to close shop for the night. lol. There you go. Now you know part of my story. It's still TBC (to be continued) so we'll see. I place all my trust in Jesus because I know He will never desert me and He never disappoints. I guess He's saying "Wait!" I don't know what the future holds but I sure hope that someday, somewhere, someone is waiting to love me. And then the baby will follow. This I ask, in Jesus' name. Amen.

How Our Tears Can Heal Us

Use your tears to make you more mature. Stronger. Wiser. Always ask yourself the question, "What is this experience teaching me?" -- Fill Your Life with Miracles -- Bo Sanchez

God Made Me (and You) Incredible

Dear Kristina,

I don't know why you don't strut your superpowers more often. Shy? False humility?  Thinking of what others will say? Afraid that you'll lose a few friends because they'll be intimidated? Let them be. Let them think what they want to think. You be you.

The Original Super,
God
P.S. Just be who you are, (Name). I made you incredible. So shine with the brilliance of a zillion stars.

Because God Wants Me To Share My Success Story

I got this interesting email from Jomar the other week called "Our Success Itemized" and decided to hit reply. After all, what do I have to lose. As I was writing this, I realized how much I've grown as a person and as a Christian. This is awesome!

Here's the deal: We have to share details about our life, who we are, what we do, our past successes and failures, how we got to where we are, our goals ... okay I'm adding some stuff into this. Please bear with me. Anyway, the end result is you discover who you were, who you have become and who you want to be in the future.

This is my story. Hope you enjoy it! :)

I'm a 34 year old writer and I've been writing virtually my whole life. For some reason though, I have this horrible fear of speaking in public and talking in front of a crowd. In College, I conquered my fears of public speaking by joining our university’s oratorical speaking contest where I spoke using my own writing, froze midway and did not place at all.

The next year my teacher convinced me to give it another shot, this time as an extemporaneous speaker (goosebumps now, remembering the trepidation). The question? What's your stand on death penalty? I had just researched and written an article about it for our student paper and felt strongly against it so expressing my opinion backed by data got me first place. That was probably the highlight of my college life (aside from the EIC gig) cuz activist that I am, I didn’t join graduation. So the trophy was smaller than the declamation contest winner but the feeling was both humbling and empowering. Praise God!

I joined our student paper freshman year and became an EIC on my third year in college. Then I became an activist. J

I applied and got a student correspondent gig at a local daily (Sun Star) where I learned from the best in editorial and news writing. Being a student writer rocks! So glad I decided not to ditch our student paper to join the dance troupe. Seriously!

After college I joined an NGO and worked with grassroots women, educating them and doing research at the same time. I miss that experience so much!

After a couple of odd jobs, I joined an American publishing company as a junior editor then took an exam, became a senior editor then became managing editor. That was an awesome learning experience all on its own. Learned much about myself as a person and as a writer-editor.

I applied for another American company, a manufacturing company at MEPZ 2, as a Technical Writer. It was both the best and worst time I’ve ever had. The nerves, the endless round of exams and interviews, it was enough to bring me to tears in our local church. Thankfully, I got called first (I still can’t believe it til now cuz there was a veteran journalist from CDN during the interview) and got in!

I joined countless journalism seminars, educational discussions, leadership trainings, Jomar Hilario's VA seminar and Internet Marketing Workshop – it was a wonderful experience and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world! Thank God!

I also joined several online learning groups, most of them run by Bo Sanchez like the Truly Rich Club, and then a few international online trainings like the Challenge, Stephen Pierce and other mentors that offered their services for little or no fee.

I’ve read so many books – those that come to mind are books and eBooks written by Bo Sanchez (in order, from memory: 1. Thank God He’s Boss 2. How to Make Your Life Beautiful 3. Your Past Does Not Define Your Future 4. How to Turn Thoughts Into Things 5. How to Know If Your Dreams Are God’s Dreams, etc.

I also read the Purpose Driven Life, which was both eye opening and mind boggling. Seriously, it helped turn my life around. Now I’m constantly seeking my purpose and each day is a revelation for which I am grateful.

I read the first and last part of the autobiography of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and it was very enlightening. For some reason, I have this tendency to be impatient when reading. I either count pages til I get to the end or scan and choose the best parts. At times I skip to the end just to know how it all wraps up. I know. Cheating! lol. That's what makes reading fun for me. The variety. No one tells me how to read my books and I love that!

I also love fantasy books so I’ve read all of the Chronicles of Narnia books, Harry Potter books (except the last one, for some reason I no longer wanted to). I’m also a fan of Terry Brooks (thanks to a close friend, who got me hooked, in a good way) so I’ve read most of his books. Now I’ve got the Genesis of Shannara series waiting for me to pick them up again. Yes, I was reviewing Armageddon’s Children.

I’ve also read some books from the Rich Dad, Poor Dad series (back when I was in debt after my mama died and money was tight), some books about getting out of credit card debt, etc.

Obviously, I failed at controlling my spending habits which meant at one time I had 5 credit cards all at once (3 from one bank). Kind of traumatic. Thank God for my Lola and Papa who were lifesavers. And having Social Security and PAG-IBIG also helped. Of course, a stable source of income helped too. But without my family, I would've been totally lost. They're a BIG part of my secret to success.

Another failure, I couldn’t settle my Mama’s hospital debt, which meant I had to wait many years before my Papa and Lola could bail me out of that one. I’m talking threats of lawsuits, etc. It was awful!

Minor failure back in college, I wanted to run for Student Council president in my 4^th year in college, became the party’s chairperson instead.

Major setback, I turned my back (literally and figuratively) on fulfilling my dreams of becoming a lawyer because I got disillusioned with the justice system, which it seems can be bought. Tsk tsk tsk. I’m not one to judge but being a student activist does have its advantages. It opened my eyes to reality, thank God!

In a way, it was probably God's way of telling me I was never meant to be a lawyer. I love being a writer and I intend to be one all my life. J

I succeeded at being a student leader, journalist, writer, editor, copyeditor, copywriter … been writing since grade school and I so enjoy it!

Thank God I also succeeded at my online writing career. There have been ups and downs, been through a scam (or 2 or 3!) but lesson learned, I’ve moved on and I believe I’m doing what I’m meant to do.

I have a feeling that God is guiding me right where He wants me to be. Writer for life. My life’s dreams, which I am confident are also God’s dreams. I want spiritual maturity first and foremost. That road is kind of hard but I promised myself I would stop complaining and always be grateful no matter what.

I've been praying for financial abundance (and maturity) so that I can share my blessings with my family and loved ones and hopefully my community. Glaucoma is now my number one enemy. Both my father and grandma have it and they need surgery, I guess. This is on my wishlist this year that can't be written on Amazon. I've been praying for a miracle but I guess God has a reason for saying "Wait!"

I want to travel – visit my Papa in Italy and meet our relatives, especially my nephew, who is now 7 years old! I want to pursue and keep writing as my hobby and source of income, which is exactly where I am right now. I also want to learn more new things, visit other places, maybe migrate somewhere (Australia, I hope). J

Right now, I’m happy where I belong. I want to learn more about Internet Marketing and how to earn from it, become better at managing my tasks and others in the future, still to aid my other goals actually.

In one sentence, my personal goal is to find my place in this world, just as God has intended – no doubts, no confusion – servant of God all the way.

My biggest investment? I think my computer. I had to take out two loans just to buy it. Lol. Looking back now, it was foolish at the time but I am grateful cuz today it’s my instrument – both for work and for fun! Writing has become so much fun since I got this mini pc. It’s a bit worn out now but it still lets me do my work so I can’t complain (not all the time). Who knows? Maybe someday I can publish my very own book. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

And yes, I’m still eyeing that iMac. J

Wow! This truly is eye-opening. I learned so much and now my path is clear. I am both a writer and a servant of God. God's writer-servant.